Fifty shades of Ink

I was reading my usual fantasy book yesterday evening, when Mister Ink sent me a voice message on WhatsApp, asking if I had already fallen asleep. He keeps teasing me for my incredible talent of falling asleep instantly after opening a book. We had a short discussion of fantasy literature, I said that I should read something more exciting to keep me up later. I suggested that I'd read the "Fifty shades of Grey" trilogy next. I have all three books in my living room, I got them from a friend for Christmas. 

He laughed at me. Said that it would be a terrible idea, considering my sexual tendencies. It would be like throwing gasoline to an open fire, he said. You should write your own little s&m book, he said.

I had no comebacks, I was too busy laughing at him. I couldn't be that bad, could I? 

We made a deal.

I would read the book (after I finish reading the little 1200-page classic that I'm working on right now), take notes, pick the things I'd want to try and have fun with him. This is our little plan for Summer 2014. 

My copy of fifty shades will look exactly like that!

I haven't opened the fifty shades books, I have no idea what to expect. I've heard that most chicks wouldn't do the stuff described in the books, but I'd love to try. Mister Ink said he has read bits of it, the book is mostly soft porn with really detailed descriptions of sadomaso stuff. He said that the short bits he read sounded just like me. Yeah, baby! 

He tied me up a few days back. I have an iron bed frame, so it's just perfect for our new adventures. Mister ink is really into all the kinky stuff that I like. It's great to be with someone you can be yourself with, no need to explain anything. I never say no to anything he asks (or tells) me to do. 

I can't wait what Summer brings...

Welcome to my world

I love being single.

A friend of mine asked me three years ago what I fear the most. I feared being single, being left all alone. I used to think that being alone made me lonely, and it was the worst thing in the world. Being surrounded by the wrong people is much worse. After breaking up with Mister Grey I realized that I had been lonely in a relationship for quite a long time. Now that I was single, I felt a much deeper connection with loads of people. Some were old, some new. Some of them were rebound guys (especially Mister Black, now that I think of it), but most were just friends. Friends that I discovered after years of silence. That made me feel invincible.

I usually tell people that I've been single for 18 months now. It's not entirely a lie, since Mister Grey left me in January 2013. I don't count Mister Black as a boyfriend. He was just a huge black hole in my life, sucking all the energy out of me. I'm not saying that I was utterly unhappy with Mister Black, I wouldn't have stayed with him for 13 months if I hated him. He was a good friend, but a terrible, terrible boyfriend. The past few months have been the best time of my life, now that I'm rid of him.

Tinder has brought me a lot of fun. I don't use it much anymore, I get hit on almost every day without it. Yesterday, for example. I won't share any details, but I'll let you know that the guy was super cute. I wish I meet him again soon. If something happens, you'll be the first to know.

I receive dozens of funny messages every day. Most of them are pictures. Some of the funniest nude photos have been sent to me by random guys, sweet friends of mine. I just never saw them coming. There was this one Monday afternoon... I got nude photos from three separate guys, never asked for one. I almost had a car accident, when I checked my phone while driving (sorry, Mum). I also get a lot of videos, mostly from guys working out or doing something dirty, you don't want to know every detail. Most of my men are athletes, some of them work out for a living, so it's quite normal for them to share pictures or videos from work. 

I love the fact that I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, with whomever I want. I don't consider myself the least bit slutty, since I'm really picky in my men. 

Who said you could only have one lover at a time? My Mum for one, but I guess she's never experienced anything like this. I love being with my guys. But for some reason, not one of them has lit a wild spark in me. Before Mister Ink, that is. You'd think that I would develop a crush really easily, I thought so too, but I really don't. Nowadays I meet Mister Ink twice a week, a certain Mister (he's new) twice a week, and someone new once-twice a week. I have a date almost every day, and I love it. 

I saw Mister Ink two days ago, and I'm slowly falling out of the semi-crush that I had earlier. Sounds weird, doesn't it? My theory is that I'm too occupied with other guys in my head. If I'd concentrate on one guy, I'd most likely fall for him. Who knows, I'm not going to try. 

Crushed.

I think I have a crush. A serious crush on a man I met today.

I spent an hour with him and ummmmmm. I was wearing extremely tight yoga pants and an oversized tee, no makeup, my hair on a French braid and yeah... I could have been better-looking. Considering the location of our encounter, my outfit was appropriate, and considering his occupation, he's used to seeing girls wearing yoga pants. 

No, he is not my Personal Trainer.

He's really cute. Tall, tattooed and has a cute smile. Facebook tells me we have 7 friends in common - a few of them are really close to me. Why haven't they ever told me about him?

We hit it off. He told me stuff that normal guys don't tell me.. And for some reason, I told him loads of personal stuff too. He was the biggest flirt! For some reason, he didn't seem like an easy catch.. I'll have to work on this one. I love challenges!

Oh yeah, and at the end of our encounter he invited me to join his birthday party. I'm in! 

The party is in August, by the way. 

I like his way of thinking.

One of my quirky girlfriends knows the man I'm talking about. She knew we were going to meet up today, but didn't warn me about him! Oh, I wish she would have said something, I would have worn makeup or re-braided my hair. My girlfriend really needs to share all she knows about him. Why am I this curious?

I never, ever feel this way.
I wish I meet him again soon.

Oh, he sent me a message on Facebook.

Challenge accepted.

Edit: I named him Mister Vanilla.

Happiest moments of the week.

Mister Ink calls me a nympho. He's not entirely wrong.

The Urban Dictionary definition for a nympho is:

Someone, normally female, that eats, breathes, & lives for sex. She dreams about it, often playing it over so much in her mind that something she has never tried can be exceptional the first time done with another person. She is insatiable & always ready to play but that does not always make her a slut or whore, for she can be picky in her selection.

I'm extremely picky, although you wouldn't probably believe it after reading this blog. My guys are all extremely good-looking, they're fun to be around and great in bed. Some are better than others, though. Here are my favourite moments, my dirty little secrets of last week:

• Mister Ink's hot WhatsApp messages, pictures, voice messages and videos after we met. I won't share them with anyone ever; they're hot, he filmed them just for me, and no one else. I want to keep it that way. I wouldn't want my friends to see all the fun stuff I see anyway. 
• Kissing Mister Ink for the first time - he was so aggressive yet tender, I wanted him then and there. He took off his shoes while kissing me, undressed me while coming into my apartment... About five minutes later, we were having fantastic sex in my bedroom. Whoopsie.

• I was out walking with a certain Mister (I haven't named him yet), when he suddenly suggested that we'd make love outdoors. There was a bench in the far corner of the park, he walked me up to it and suggested that I take my shorts off. Yeah, like that was going to happen in the middle of the day (hahaha, he's such an idiot). But the conversation was exciting! I'm just waiting for a better time to execute his plans.
• A certain Mister playing out one of my fantasies without me even telling him about it. He just went for it! Afterwards I asked him why he did it, he said that I looked like I'd like it. Oh, the fantasy had something to do with S&M business. So, in case I walk funny today and tomorrow, he's what happened.
• A certain Mister helping me stretch my sore muscles after working out like crazy. I love his big hands on my body, especially if we're making love. My inner thighs are bruised after his "stretches", so no short dresses or shorts in the weekend.
• Dressing up for new games. I was wearing electric blue heels, bright red gloves, crystal white underwear and a cute sailor dress (and a little hat). My Mister loved it.
• Having long discussions with a new Mister on the topic "polyamorous relationships". I'm not a poly, I just love to be loved. I don't want to be in a relationship right now, I like to play around. But when I am in a relationship, I'm the most loyal and trusting girlfriend. The best little wifey there is. And who wouldn't love to have a nympho as a girlfriend?
• Play fighting with Mister Ink. I just can't stop smiling at him.
• "Lunchbreak" with a certain Mister at his "office".

Can't wait what next week brings... ;)

Meet Mister Ink.

I'm hot for tattoos.

The pictures on my blog are not of Mister Ink, just in case you're unsure... That's David Beckham, but he looks very much like my Mister Ink. They're both athletes, have gorgeous bodies, loads of tattoos (love those sleeves!) and know how to charm women. Oh yeah, and Mister Ink is also a male model. [insert sigh here]

Mister Ink is a drop-dead gorgeous, blonde guy in his thirties. I met him via Tinder. We share a few friends "in real life". I would probably never have met him outside Tinder, so I'm ecstatic about that little app.
He has loads of tattoos, therefore the nickname Mister Ink. His Tinder profile showed no pictures of his tattoos - I had to find that one out by myself. I went nearly out of my mind when I first saw his skin.

We both have cute dogs, so we went for a Doggie Date. Our dogs didn't really click, but we humans sure did. He looked sooooo good, I had trouble believing it. I was so shy with him, I just couldn't get a word out of my mouth. He kept looking into my eyes like he already knew all my secrets, and for some reason it totally freaked me out.

The first time we met we didn't touch each other at all. Not even a hug goodbye. Afterwards we talked about it. He asked me to wait for it, the physical elements of our relationship would come afterwards. He was so right... Three days later, he rang my doorbell, french-kissed me like crazy while taking his shoes off, guided me to my bedroom (I was backing up all the way, because I was busy sucking his face) and nearly killed me with pleasure.

Mister Ink brings out the bad girl in me.. I won't share any details, but sex with him is ah-freaking-mazing. Quadruple orgasms are basic stuff around the house when we make love. He likes all the kinky stuff that I like, and is not afraid to tell me about his fantasies. He calls me his little nympho. Yeah, he knows his business.

Mister Ink is not just for fun - he's solid boyfriend material. He is trustworthy - in fact, I could talk to him for hours. I could tell him all my secrets and not be the slightest bit afraid of him sharing them with anyone. He's stunning and extremely good in bed, fun to be around and he's seen me in my sweatpants. I told him my darkest secrets and he didn't freak out - not even a bit. I told him about this blog. It was really difficult to admit that I write a blog like this, share details about my personal life like this. He smiled at me, said that it would be fun to be a part of it - "Just don't name me Mister Pink or Mister Peach" - haha. Oh, and I'm not shy around him anymore... Every time he looks deeply into my eyes, I look straight back and smile. Because he makes me smile.

He seriously doesn't care about my past, all he cares about is the things I do in the present and in the future. And he wants to have a sort of a future with me. Sort of.

I can't wait to meet him again.

I heard you're a player, so let's play a game.

I heard you're a player, so let's play a game.

Let's sweet talk.

Let's play fight.

Let's talk 24/7.

Let's send each other funny voice messages on WhatsApp.

Let's tell each other good morning and good night every single day.

Let's take walks together.

Let's give each other nicknames.

Let's go on dates.

Let's talk on the phone all night long.

Let's hold each other.

Let's kiss and hug.

Let's have amazing sex.

Let's sleep next to each other.

Let's cuddle on the sofa while watching our new favourite TV show.

Let's play with each other's pets.

Let's take long showers together.

Let's gaze in to each other's eyes while saying goodbye.

And whoever falls in love first? 

Loses.

Mister Silver: the bodybuilder who won't give up

So. I met this bodybuilder fellow at a bar one Saturday. He came up to me, asked me "Hi. Don't I know you? Are you Kitty?"

Wow, that has never happened to me before! Mister Silver (I'll explain the nickname in a bit) had seen my picture on the wall at my work, asked the girl at the reception if "Kitty's available" and my last name, so he could check out my pictures on Facebook. I figured he really liked my picture. 

During the night he told me that he wanted to leave with me, that he really needed to sleep with me, just sleep (yeah right), and he just wouldn't stop. I told him that I was out with my girlfriends, I'd leave with them. I gave him my number and hoped he'd call me later. 

He did.

Turns out we have a lot of acquaintances in common. Mister Silver is a bodybuilder with a jaw-dropping hot body, and he has a good heart, too. He's like this giant teddy bear you'll want to hug forever.

He really likes the same things that I do. After talking to him for a few hours, he said that I'm just like the girl he's always wanted to marry, he'd have to see me again soon. 

I never thought that much of him. Probably because he's ridiculously good-looking, I know that he has a ton of girls just waiting for him to ask them out. He asked me out like a million times before I agreed to meet him. I went to his place a Monday night after work. He cooked for me (Thai food, yummy!), we watched a few episodes of my favourite TV show (I had missed the last four episodes and was all broken about it) and slept together. He was ridiculously good at it. Brains-splattered-on-the-wall kind of good. He really liked watching me, especially my facial expressions, when he made love to me. During sex he told me I had the prettiest eyes he'd ever seen. Sure, I can believe that. :D 

We did it four or five times during the evening, and once before I left for work on Tuesday morning. Too much? Yeah, I think so too. He wanted to meet me for lunch, I lied and said that I have no breaks, Tuesdays are really busy days for me. 

Turns out he fell in love with me.

He won't stop calling me. He texts me three to five times a day, even if I don't answer him. At first he sent me selfies from the gym, showing off his giant muscles (he knows I LOVE bodybuilders) to cheer me up, casual "Hi"s, asking me how my day has been and asking me to meet him again soon. At first I really liked it. I was happy for the fact that someone missed me, was happy to see me.

Then it started to seriously annoy me. Every text from him pissed me off, especially the ones from the gym. He asked me to send him "pictures of the hot booty" (can't stop laughing) - well, I didn't send him anything, not even a quick "Hello".

I told him that I was ditching all my Misters, that I wasn't into having sexual relationships with guys anymore. That was true, there was a time where I just had enough. I just wanted to spend my evenings at home, alone, cooking or cleaning or doing whatever the hell I wanted. I stopped answering my Mister's calls, every single one of them, I wouldn't text them back, not even if they asked me a question. I just wanted to clear my head after all the shit that had happened with Mister Yellow and Mister Black. He understood me, or that's what I thought.

I've tried to break up with him quite a few times. He just doesn't get it. He doesn't understand that I put him in the exact same category as all my other sex buddies, I really don't give a fuck for him and don't really want to be in touch with him. For some reason, he thought that I meant to leave all those other guys just to be with him. He said that he's ready to step things up a bit, to take it to the next level, I'd be his and he'd be mine. How the hell did he get there? I said that I wasn't ready for a relationship, I had absolutely no wish to date a friend of a friend, not seriously, at least. 

Since he didn't understand to leave me alone, I asked him to be "just friends" in stead. He was super excited, said that he'd get sex from other girls, he just wanted to be with me. Hang out, do fun stuff (go rock climbing, hit the gym together, go paddling, yada yada. He made a list. Not kidding.), cuddle and eat together. He told me that he really wanted to sleep next to me, just as friends. Yeah, we'll see about that.

He sent me this picture on Whatsapp a few days ago.. Not sure what to think of it.

I'm freaking out again. I need some advice to dump a hot guy who's apparently never been dumped before. He has no idea of what "no" means, I guess he never hears that from girls.

Sigh.

//P.S. I call him Mister Silver because he's close to gold, but I don't want him.

Once you go Black, you can't go back

You'd think that I was talking about skin colour, right? Well, you're wrong as hell.

Mister Black texted me on Sunday (while I was busy getting angry at Mister Yellow). He told me that he found my disc golf frisbees, and was willing to return them to me if I agreed to listen to him for a few hours. The discs felt like excuses, to be honest. He could have just left them in my mail box.

Wednesday night.
Mister Black drove 500 miles to see me. What the fuck is wrong with him? I confronted him about it. He said that he wanted to show me that he cares for me, that he can make an effort. That he still feels deeply for me, and wanted me to see that. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Speechless. Again. I hate when that happens. 

He talked for three hours. I had absolutely nothing to say to him. I just sat there, listening, crying. The sleeves of my dinosaur sweatshirt were soaked with tears. He was sincerely sorry for all the shit he put me through. He didn't ask for a second chance, he just wanted to take a walk with me some day. And if that went ok, maybe do stuff that we had planned to do.

I met him a few times, really enjoyed my time with him. We had fun together, shared many laughs and happy moments. We agreed to keep things a secret from our mutual friends, just in case things don't work out.

Something strange happened. I turned my girlfriend mode on, wanted to stop seeing my Misters. Mister Black told me that I shouldn't do it, he doesn't want to be treated any differently than all my other guys. "You sure?" I asked. He said yes, but my feelings for him are much deeper than some random Mister. I dumped every single colourful guy, every Mister, just to be with my Mister Black. I'm such an idiot.

Well, shit hit the fan. I found myself feeling the same way I did before I was miserable. I wanted to turn back time, maybe a year or so, to the happiest summer I've ever experienced. That lasted for a week.

During the week we had the most stupid fights I can imagine. He installed Tinder, just to see what all the fuss was about. He didn't tell me about it, I found out myself. Wednesday morning, I saw his phone light up with a few push messages from Tinder. I wasn't jealous, I had no reason to be. I simply said "Oh, you have Tinder? Good for you, I hope you find what you're looking for" and started World War III. He became all weird and accused me of sleeping with all kinds of guys (he was right, but he had no right to be angry at me). He left my home slamming doors - I guess my reaction wasn't exactly what he was hoping for. What was I supposed to say? Was I supposed to be the jealous girlfriend, although we weren't even dating? I didn't get it. The next few days were rough. He was seeking for attention, I didn't give it to him.

Weekend came. I made plans to be with Mister Black. He did a no-show. Twice.

That was it. I can't believe that he slipped back to being the shitty person that he is in a week. I won't give him any third chances, we all know that he's a terrible boyfriend. I woke up on Sunday morning with my mind going "what the HELL was I thinking?" 


I sent him a message saying: "Don't text me anymore. Have a great summer." That was it, at least for now.

Leaving Mister Yellow

Mister Yellow and I had been seeing each other for two months now. He made several suggestions that our relationship would advance to the next level and to be honest, I actually considered it.

Sunday.
I came home from Portugal in the morning. I actually texted Mister Yellow from Portugal, told him that I miss him (which was entirely true), asking him to meet me when I come home. Of course he was up for it, we hadn't seen each other for almost a week. We made a date, decided to have dinner and go to the movies, and I was to spend the night at his flat like we use to.

We had dinner at his place before going to the movies. He cooked, again, and it was delicious, as always. Before we left for the movies, I went to the loo and saw my toothbrush in its place, in the little beige cup next to his toothbrush. It made me smile.

Everything was really perfect. I enjoyed my time with him. I actually thought of saying something stupid, like admitting that I like him. A lot. I could have easily fallen in love with him. If only he'd ask me once more, and I would have been his girlfriend for life. He asked me about my trip to Portugal. I told him everything, the fact that I picked up a random guy at the airport, went abroad with him for four days and hugged him good-bye at the airport in the morning. He took it all really well, I guess.

We had amazing sex in the evening. Afterwards, lying in his arms (I was really sensitive), I told him that I like him. That I missed him on my trip. I still can't believe what he replied. "That's what they all say." Speechless. Ice-freaking-cold.

I was preparing to go to bed, went to the bathroom to brush my teeth when suddenly my toothbrush had disappeared from its regular spot - I mean, it spontaneously vanished from the place where I had just seen it. Puzzled, I went to the living room, asked him where my toothbrush had gone. He went to his dressing room, to the last closet in the back, dug out a distressed-looking washing bag packed with toothbrushes. He dug around the bag (filled with like, thirty toothbrushes) and asked me "which one was yours again? I get confused.". That was it. He tried to make me jealous... WHY?! I freaking liked him, why would he do such a stupid thing like that?

Manipulating me, trying to make me jealous, tricks... They don't work on me. Not at all. At that point I became cold as hell, went to bed, told him good night.
Monday morning, off to work again. He was really sweet in the morning, the way he usually is. I just couldn't get over the toothbrush business, I was still kind of furious. We had made plans for Wednesday. Shit. I wanted to get out of it.

...
Radio silence for 24 hours.
...

Text messages between me and Yellow, Tuesday morning 9 o'clock:
Me: I think we need to stop seeing each other.
Y: Honeybunny, what's wrong?
Me: I broke my rules. I like you. Shit go wrong when I like you. I can't see you anymore.
Y: Let me know if you change your mind.

And that was it.

Fuck. I really, really liked this one.

May day, May day

I'm not a very shy girl - a quality that my friends often take advantage of. I'm challenged to do weird stuff almost daily. This is a story about my May day challenge.

International worker's day (also known as Labour Day here in Europe) is celebrated on May 1st. This year May 1st was a Thursday, and I took the Friday off. My dear friend Katy challenged me to pick up a guy at the airport, catch a flight with him and spend a few days in a strange city with a strange guy.

Well, here's how it all happened.

I left work early on Wednesday. I was at the airport at 1 p.m., looking around for sweet-looking guys. A flight to Barcelona was due to depart at 5 p.m. - another flight to Lisbon at 4 p.m. As I walked in, I decided to find myself on either flight - I wanted to spend my long weekend somewhere warm (because I packed my suitcase with sundresses, heels and a pair of polka-dotted bikinis). I saw this tall, muscular guy in Converse shoes. He was checking in, looking kind of distressed, not really getting the self-check-in automat. I approached him, asked him if he needed help and told him about Katy challenging me to do something this silly and spontaneous. He got really excited about my little dare and invited me to join him in his five-star hotel in Lisbon. So, I picked up my credit card, bought a trip to Lisbon to spend a long weekend with a guy I didn't know.

I selected him because he had cool shoes and a cute smile. And he was in his early thirties, with no engagement ring. He's now called Mister Tan.

Mister Tan had originally planned to visit Lisbon with two friends. They had separate rooms in a fancy-ass hotel in central Lisbon. I mean, the room was freaking fantastic. First night in Lisbon, I was wearing a cute little dress and high heels. We went to dinner with Mister Tan's friends. It was a cozy seafood restaurant, where the waiters spoke nothing but Portuguese. Luckily I studied Spanish in high school, so I had a slight clue on how to order meals and drinks. Things worked out really well. It was pleasantly warm in the evening, we got lost in the narrow alleys of Lisbon, drank a pitcher of sangria and went back to the hotel. Mister Tan was the cutest: I turned off the lights, climbed into bed with him and said good night. I heard him sigh and say "I... I don't really date, so I have no idea about these things... Am I supposed to kiss you or what?" I had no comeback, just tried not to laugh at his face. He kissed me on the mouth, really gently, and said good night.

We didn't see his friends for the rest of the trip. May day was spent at the beach. We were feeding each other strawberries, having a great time, chilling, drinking sangria and caipirinha, chatting away on mundane things, swimming in the Atlantic and whatnot. I really enjoyed my time with him. He never really touched me when we were outside our hotel room, but after Thursday, he was just sweet and gentle. It felt like he really cared for me, he made love to me so tenderly. I really liked his style. That went on for four more days, us having fun in the city, almost feeling like friends, and lovers in the night. Just the way I liked it. I had the best four days of my life with him.

The last day I felt a weird vibe between us. I asked him to tell me stories, and he didn't really have anything to share. That was, until he told me that he was building a house outside the metropolis that I live in. What guy builds his own house? I really didn't like to ask any more questions. I sincerely think that he is in a relationship. Not cool.

The flight home was really a pain in the butt. Since I bought my trip a lot after Mister Tan, I sat about ten rows behind him. I had no one to lean on, no shoulder to rest my head on. I slept for a maximum of two hours. My flight landed at 5 a.m. Phew.
Mister Red picked me up at the airport. He had worked all night and was really tired, yet anxious to see me. Well, he drove me home, pulled my hair and did his tricks on me, and left. I wasn't sure if I was angry at him or not - I mean, I was grateful for the ride home, but I was way too tired to have sex with him... I told him that, but he didn't listen to me - just pushed me to my bedroom, undressed me and worked his magic on me. I won't text him anymore. I guess.

My motto. Thanks, Barney.

So, this was my May day challenge. Can't wait what Midsummer brings...

Meow.