I blame it all on Tinder.
After I Whatsapped Mister Black and it was over between us (click here to read his story), I cried for about five minutes, and then I was OK. I spent the weekend with my family and friends, and someone told me to join Tinder. I did, and my iPhone hasn't stopped buzzing, peeping and ringing since.
To me, Tinder is a game just like any other silly app. I started talking to guys I found attractive, and suddenly realized that I've gained almost 700 Tinder matches. Let's say that if 90% of all the guys on Tinder are douche bags (and thinking back, I think my estimates are quite accurate) - there are still 70 guys on my iPhone worth checking out. So I started working and made a few dates.
This is a quick recap my first week on Tinder.
My first Tinder date was with Mister Yellow. I met him at a coffee shop during my lunch break. My look was beyond horrible: I had no makeup, my hair was just tied up in my neck in a tight bun, I was wearing running tights and sneakers and I guess I didn't smell that awesome either. For some reason he didn't mind. He made me laugh and I had a blast. I totally wished to meet him again, but we didn't make any arrangements.
After work I met up with Mister Purple. I wasn't really that into him and I certainly didn't like the fact that he asked me to meet him at his place for "dinner and a movie" (which seems to be Tinder code for sex), but I did find him somewhat good-looking, so I went. I guess he was OK, but waaaaay too needy for me. He wanted to watch a thriller or horror movie, just to make sure I'd stay close to him all night. Ehh. Sex with him was kind of awkward at first, because he seemed so unsure of himself, but after a few rounds (yeah, you heard me) he became OK. I guess he was a little shy at first or something. I knew that this was a one time only type of thing, but I tried to stay the night as promised. He wouldn't let me sleep, he was all over me all the time. It sort of freaked me out, so I got dressed and let myself out as he fell asleep. No need to call me again, thank you very much.
I had to work in the evening, so no dates. I chatted with a few guys on Tinder and made a couple of matches.
Mister Yellow texted me, saying he wanted to meet me again. There's something seriously wrong with that dude.
Mister Pink lives quite close to where I work. He texted me on Tuesday, asking if we should meet up (since I was just a few kilometers away). I was free on Wednesday night, so I met up with him. He was ridiculously good looking: tall, dark, mesmerizing eyes, a muscular body - the whole physical package. But there was something wrong with him though. After an hour-long discussion he blurted out that he'd separated from a reeeeally serious relationship last summer, and was still not over it. He was on Tinder because he wanted to get married and have kids real soon. He was attracted to me. No thanks.
After work I met up with my girlfriends for a beer. We had a loooooong chat, I told them about my miserable Tinder dates. They found my stories amusing, therefore this blog got started. I had made a date for Thursday night as well. I said good-bye to my girlfriends and met Mister Beige for dinner. He was really funny and nice, but there was something missing. I could be his friend if he asked me, actually, I'd love to. I should text him.
Mister Yellow texted me again. We made plans for Saturday.
Mister Blue had been texting me for four days. We met on Friday, he took me for drinks after work. I found him attractive, he was a very, very smart guy, which I find really hot. Mister Blue is a tech student and really into space stuff. He oozes intelligence and I feel a lot smarter when I'm with him. I learn stuff from him, even when I'm a little tipsy. I spent five or six hours laughing and making him laugh (a new sensation) before going home. I hugged him goodbye and felt a weird vibe between us, he really wanted to kiss me. I sort of freaked out, ran off. I had a bus to catch.
I tried to booty call Mister Yellow (because he's such a ridiculously hot guy!) but he didn't answer me. Bummer.
Mister Blue texted me when he came home. He told me that he wasn't really into relationships, and didn't expect to find one on Tinder, but he liked me a lot and wanted to try it out.... What's wrong with these people?
Saturday & Sunday
Headache. Mister Yellow called me in the morning, telling me he'd be picking me up in an hour. He'd made some sort of special plans for the day and wanted me to wear a LBD and heels. Daaaaamn. We had a perfect date. I was sold instantly. He'd open doors for me, made sure I was happy all the time and surprised me left and right. I had a weird feeling about him, I could have fallen for him instantly. It sort of freaked me out, but not in a bad way.
Our date lasted 28 hours. He stayed the night. I experienced something awesome, another round of my-brain-splattered-on-the-walls sort of sex. I mean, it had been more than a year since my last experience. I was a bit afraid that this was it, I would never find anyone else. He made me laugh, hugged me, told me funny stories about last summer, kissed me all over. Panic.
Sunday night. Mister Blue called me, asking me to come over - dinner and a movie sort of stuff. Fuck Tinder, I really wasn't interested in sex right now. I told him that we could meet up, I'd bring the food if he'd arrange for a movie. Everything worked out just fine. I spent a few hours in his arms, he kissed my neck, smelled my hair and we watched something that I've already managed to forget. That was nice.
After my first week on Tinder I had loads of dates. I didn't really care for any others than Mister Blue and Mister Yellow. They had something that I felt I needed. Maybe I could give them something and receive something as well.
Feel the love, baby.