The freak out I had in my last post went on for 24 hours. I was feeling hurt, jealous and unsafe because one of Mister Fire's sweeties was having a crisis. I didn't want to know the details. After all, I thought she was having the same kind of mental breakdown as I did a few months ago. I had a personal crisis when I woke up and found myself utterly in love with him, even though I tried to resist it. The fact that he is polyamorous broke my heart. Most importantly, I consider myself monogamous and would be hurt if I found out that he loves someone like he loves me.
I'll start by saying that I had the most wonderful weekend with Mister Fire. I'm so in love with him that it almost hurts. Friday night he came with me to a party, where he met my parents and my closest friends. He had met a few of my friends, my cousins and my brother already. They've all shown me "thumbs up". The night went quite well. He liked my friends and bonded with my father. My father loves Mister Fire. Daddy called me yesterday. Daddy asked me how long I've been seeing him - for a second there I thought Daddy disliked Mister Fire. Turns out that wasn't the thing at all. Daddy thought Mister Fire was calm and charming. Ah, I know that he's wonderful. That's why I love him.
My love is across the Atlantic Ocean. He left on Sunday morning and will be back in 8 days. He was sitting at the airport, waiting for his flight to leave, when I got this text from him. "I stayed up really late yesterday. I kept thinking about us, my mind was going crazy when I thought about our future. I packed my toothbrush. As I did it, I threw away a few extra brushes from my bathroom... All of them. I want to see no more than two brushes in that cupboard. Yours and mine. I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you."
He's going mono. Just for me. He said that going mono wasn't even a tough decision. He felt very strongly about being polyamorous before. Now he just wants to be with me. He thinks I'm special, like I'm his dream come true. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. Remember the post when I said I knew exactly how our wedding invitations would look? Now the image is clearer than before. Phew.
I have a boyfriend.
It killed me that he said that as he was leaving. He's been gone for two days and will be away for an additional eight days - how can I go on? We agreed that the next time he's away for that long, I'll go with him. Ten days in Thailand or Miami wouldn't hurt.
The crisis his sweetie was having was because he was leaving her. He wanted to do it smoothly, without hurting her much. Mister Fire is my dream come true, the most perfect guy that I know. I can't believe that I was feeling so insecure that I would want to leave him. I never ever want to leave him.
That's what love feels like.
P.S. I threw out all the extra toothbrushes from my bathroom as well. There were loads, but I don't miss them one bit. Now there's just two. I really like the thought. I'm ecstatic.